Business Writing Skills: Activity 10

Activity 10: Edit to Polish Your Writing

Edit from the outside in

Look at the overall document before you start to look at the details.

Download the text of a brief report by clicking here.

Print out the document if you can. Evaluate only the outer structure of the writing. Answer the questions in the box below as you edit. They require you to use what you have learned so far in the course.

Edit the document:

1.  Evaluate the thesis statement.  Write your evaluation here.

2.  Locate the thesis key words and main point key words.  Write them here.

3.  Locate the generalization statements and headings.  Evaluate them.  Write your evaluation here.

4.  Use the thesis statement, headings, and generalizations to evaluate the overall document.

Is the writer consistent in the use of key words?

Is there enough for the reader to understand the central idea?

Is there unnecessary information for any of the points?

Are the main points presented in a logical order that will help the readers understand the text?

5. Locate any sub-points under the main points.  Evaluate them.  Are they marked clearly with headings and generalizations?

6.  Evaluate the paragraphs.

Is there a generalization or topic sentence at the beginning of every paragraph?

Does it use the key words consistently?

Do the paragraphs explain completely?

7.  Look at the introduction.  Write your evaluation of it.  Does it present the subject?  Does it end with the thesis?

8.  Look at the conclusion.  Write your evaluation of it.

Does the writer help the reader bring together everything that was in the message?

If there were main points in the text, does the writer show how they affect the context introduced in the introduction?

Are the points listed in the same order in which they are presented in the text?  Do the conclusions and recommendations follow from the text?

Editing sentences

After you have looked at the exercise text from the outside in, look at the sentences. Follow these guidelines:

Keep sentences to 15 to 20 words or fewer.

Keep one or two ideas in most sentence, but no more than three.

Use an action verb when possible.

Keep ideas that work together close to one another.

Avoid "is where" and "is when."

Avoid prepositional phrases when possible.

Use active voice.

Avoid long strings of nouns

Break out lists into bullets.

Rewrite the sentences in the following excerpt from a proposal. Focus only on the sentences.

Edit these sentences:

Editing words

After you have looked at the sentences, look at words. Follow these guidelines:

Are the words at an appropriate technical or difficulty level for the reader?

Check the tone. Are the words encouraging words or discouraging words? Generally, make your correspondence friendly and informal. Make reports more formal and impersonal.

Does the writing avoid "ion" constructions?

Does the writer define terms? Could the writer use the plain English term instead? Are abbreviations and acronyms defined? When possible avoid using them.

Are the words precise? Avoid "few," "many," "some," and approximation words.

Does the writing avoid stilted words?

Are the words plain English words, or are there some $50 words that make the writing unclear?

Does the writing avoid weak words that are so overused that they convey little meaning.

Write the alternatives for the following words and sentences. If you need a number or other specific, create one for your answer. If there is no alternative because you simply wouldn't include the words, type "Delete" beside the words or sentences.

Write the alternatives:

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