Examine the information you have included in your e‑mail
to be sure you have included enough to achieve your goals. Will the reader understand the facts and concepts
without further explanation?
What does this reader know about the subject, not know
about the subject, or actually misunderstand about the subject? If the
reader knows little about the subject, you probably need more facts and
concepts because your explanation must be more complete. If the reader
is very familiar with the subject, you may not have to explain many facts,
concepts, and procedures. The writing may be less complete.
Remember that
some readers will need technical information to be persuaded,
while others will be confused by it. Also remember that individual characteristics
and knowledge play an important role: if the person just wants the bottom
line, including excess information may be frustrating. On the other hand,
if you're writing to someone who has a limited knowledge of your subject
matter, you may need to include a considerable amount of detail. Review your
e‑mail with your knowledge of the reader and your goals in mind.
Example: You're going to write an e‑mail to the night staff
about using the new magnetic cards when they enter the building. They
have received the cards, but they don't know how to use them.
Your goals:
When they finish reading this e‑mail, the night
staff will
Know that they must use the magnetic cards
to enter the building.
Know the reason for changing to a magnetic card system
Know how to insert and remove the card.
Know that they must walk to the security window
and knock if they cannot gain entry into the building.
Imagine that the writer wrote these facts and concepts:
To the Staff:
You have to use the new magnetic cards to enter
the building when you come on at night. Insert the card and pull it out to gain entry. If the card doesn't work, contact security.
Management
When you check for completeness, you see that there isn't enough here for the readers to attain your goals.
They will not know why they are changing to a magnetic card system.
They will not know where to insert the card or remove it.
They will not know that they can walk around to the security
window and knock on it if they have a problem.
Some may not know where the security office is.
They will not know whom to contact if they have a question.
You would add the instructions to your e‑mail so the readers will be successful.
To the Staff:
You have to use the new magnetic cards to enter the building when you come on at night. The purpose of the card key system is to protect you and your co-workers from unauthorized intruders. The card key helps security identify who is coming into the building.
This e‑mail explains how to use the new cards:
Insert the card in the slot below "Insert card." The magnetic strip should be facing the door (so you can't see it). You should be able to read the text on the side of the card facing you. If it is upside down, turn the card around.
Push the card in as far as it will go.
Quickly pull the card out. The red light should turn to green.
If the light stays red, try it again.
If you have problems gaining entry with your security card, walk over to the security desk on the northeast side of the building. Someone should always be monitoring the desk area.
If no one is at the desk, call 555-555-9999.
It is possible that you could have a defective card. If so, you can request a new card from the on-duty security guard.
If you have any questions regarding the card key system, call me at extension 3485.
Tom Rundle
Explaining more and breaking the procedure out into a list make a longer e‑mail. Writing a longer e‑mail may not feel right to you. However, evaluate the effectiveness of your writing based on whether it will communicate clearly and achieve your goals, not on its length. If you need more detail or white space to contribute to clarity, include it.
Example
To see an example of a memo that is not complete and a revision that improves it, click on the "Example" button below. The information will appear in a new window. Close the new window when you're finished looking at the examples.